You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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