You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
