HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
