So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
