id be glad to
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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