Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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