I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
