I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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