she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
