my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Randomize
