peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just want to make out with him forever
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
