She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
