I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
