Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
