last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
