Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
