But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Can I color on your dick again?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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