my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
