I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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