No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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