Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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