My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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