Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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