You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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