he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
