is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
