I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
