Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
