Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
