I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
