I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
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