I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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