This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
