did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
