ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
