"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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