idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
