hell yes lets make some ravioli
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Are we still banned from the library?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
