Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
