her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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