I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
