just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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