I am in a vortex of obligation.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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