I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
