fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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