Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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