she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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