Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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