hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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