He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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