The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just pee around me
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
